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This
website does not
reflect the thoughts
or opinions of
either myself,
my hallmates,
my friends, or
my dog; don't
quote me on that;
don't quote me
on anything; all
rights reserved;
terms are subject
to change without
notice; illustrations
are slightly enlarged
to show detail;
any resemblance
to actual persons,
living or dead,
is unintentional
and purely coincidental;
do not remove
this disclaimer
under penalty
of law; hand wash
only, tumble dry
on low heat; do
not bend, fold,
mutilate, or spindle;
your mileage may
vary; no substitutions
allowed; for a
limited time only;
this website is
void where prohibited,
taxed, or otherwise
restricted; caveat
emptor; this website
is provided "as
is" without
any warranties;
reader assumes
full responsibility;
an equal opportunity
website; no shoes,
no shirt, no service;
quantities are
limited while
supplies last;
if any defects
are discovered,
do not attempt
to read them yourself,
but return to
an authorized
service center;
read at your own
risk; parental
discression advised,
text may contain
explicit materials
some readers may
find objectionable;
keep away from
sunlight; keep
away from OJ;
keep away from
pets and small
children; limit
one-per-family
please; no money
down; no purchase
necessary; you
need not be present
to win; some assembly
required; batteries
not included;
instructions are
included; action
figures sold separately;
no preservatives
added; slippery
when wet; safety
goggles may be
required during
use; sealed for
your protection,
do not read if
safety seal is
broken; call before
you dig; not liable
for damages arising
from use or misuse;
for external use
only; if rash,
irritation, redness,
or swelling develops,
discontinue reading;
read only with
proper ventilation;
avoid extreme
temperatures and
store in a cool
dry place; keep
away from open
flames; avoid
contact with eyes
and skin and avoid
inhaling fumes;
do not puncture,
incinerate, or
store above 120
degrees Fahrenheit;
do not place near
a flammable or
magnetic source;
smoking this website
could be hazardous
to your health;
the best safeguard,
second only to
abstinence, is
the use of a condom;
no salt, MSG,
artificial color
or flavoring added;
if ingested, do
not induce vomiting,
if symptoms persist,
consult a physician;
this website is
ribbed for your
pleasure; possible
penalties for
early withdrawal;
offer valid only
at participating
sites; allow four
to six weeks for
delivery; must
be 18 to read;
disclaimer does
not cover misuse,
accident, lightning,
flood, tornado,
tsunami, volcanic
eruption, earthquake,
hurricanes, and
other Acts of
God, neglect,
damage from improper
reading, incorrect
line voltage,
improper or unauthorized
reading, broken
antenna or marred
cabinet, missing
or altered serial
numbers, electromagnetic
radiation from
nuclear blasts,
sonic boom vibrations,
customer adjustments
that are not covered
in this list,
and incidents
owing to an airplane
crash, ship sinking
or taking on water,
motor vehicle
crashing, dropping
the item, falling
rocks, leaky roof,
broken glass,
mud slides, forest
fire, or projectile
(which can include,
but not be limited
to, arrows, bullets,
shot, BB's, shrapnel,
lasers, napalm,
torpedoes, or
emissions of X-rays,
Alpha, Beta and
Gamma rays, knives,
stones, etc.);
other restrictions
may apply. This
product is meant
for educational
purposes only.
Any resemblance
to real persons,
living or dead
is purely coincidental.
Void where prohibited.
Some assembly
required. List
each check separately
by bank number.
Batteries not
included. Contents
may settle during
shipment. Use
only as directed.
No other warranty
expressed or implied.
Do not use while
operating a motor
vehicle or heavy
equipment. Postage
will be paid by
addressee. Subject
to approval. This
is not an offer
to sell securities.
Apply only to
affected area.
May be too intense
for some viewers.
Do not stamp.
Use other side
for additional
listings. For
recreational use
only. Do not disturb.
All models over
18 years of age.
If condition persists,
consult your physician.
No user-serviceable
parts inside.
Freshest if eaten
before date on
carton. Subject
to change without
notice. Times
approximate. Simulated
picture. No postage
necessary if mailed
in the United
States. Breaking
seal constitutes
acceptance of
agreement. For
off-road use only.
As seen on TV.
One size fits
all. Many suitcases
look alike. Contains
a substantial
amount of non-tobacco
ingredients. Colors
may, in time,
fade. We have
sent the forms
which seem to
be right for you.
Slippery when
wet. For office
use only. Not
affiliated with
the American Red
Cross. Drop in
any mailbox. Edited
for television.
Keep cool; process
promptly. Post
office will not
deliver without
postage. List
was current at
time of printing.
Return to sender,
no forwarding
order on file,
unable to forward.
Not responsible
for direct, indirect,
incidental or
consequential
damages resulting
from any defect,
error or failure
to perform. At
participating
locations only.
Not the Beatles.
Penalty for private
use. See label
for sequence.
Substantial penalty
for early withdrawal.
Do not write below
this line. Falling
rock. Lost ticket
pays maximum rate.
Your cancelled
check is your
receipt. Add toner.
Place stamp here.
Avoid contact
with skin. Sanitized
for your protection.
Be sure each item
is properly endorsed.
Sign here without
admitting guilt.
Slightly higher
west of the Mississippi.
Employees and
their families
are not eligible.
Beware of dog.
Contestants have
been briefed on
some questions
before the show.
Limited time offer,
call now to insure
prompt delivery.
You must be present
to win. No passes
accepted for this
engagement. No
purchase necessary.
Processed at location
stamped in code
at top of carton.
Shading within
a garment may
occur. Use only
in well-ventilated
area. Keep away
from fire or flame.
Replace with same
type. Approved
for veterans.
Booths for two
or more. Check
here if tax deductible.
Some equipment
shown is optional.
Price does not
include taxes.
No Canadian coins.
Not recommended
for children.
Prerecorded for
this time zone.
Reproduction strictly
prohibited. No
solicitors. No
alcohol, dogs,
or horses. No
anchovies unless
otherwise specified.
Restaurant package,
not for resale.
List at least
two alternate
dates. First pull
up, then pull
down. Call toll
free before digging.
Driver does not
carry cash. Some
of the trademarks
mentioned in this
product appear
for identification
purposes only.
Record additional
transactions on
back of previous
stub. Decision
of judges is final.
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