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1)
Frank the Tank - With the #1 seed, Frank is a clear favorite
to win the Drunk Off - Man Challenge. Although his opponents may out
drink him on occasion, Frank more than makes up for this with his
undeniable talent in being socially awkward. Having a small get-together
with a couple of your friends to casually drink a few beers and watch
the game? Well, make sure you invite Frank if you want a shirtless
kid running around, breaking furniture and randomly slapping you when
you aren't looking! |
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2)
Shanley - Quite possibly one of the heaviest drinkers I
have ever met, Shanley punishes beers with a level of reckless abandon
rarely seen in today's society. Here's an idea for you: Shanley
is recognized as the biggest drinker in his entire fraternity...
and this is coming from a fraternity who was kicked off campus for
drinking violations. Watch out people, Shanley is on a mission.
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3)
John - 90% liver, 10% gumption, this hot-blooded Irishman
is no friend to sobriety. Bystanders beware: John was once rumored
to have drop-kicked a 4th grader in the back of the head for knocking
over his beer at a football game. Furthermore, there is absolutely
no use in trying to rationalize with this stubborn specimen of belligerence
-- it will only result in you being publicly humiliated or possibly
spit on.
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4)
Austin - If this contest was solely based on whoever could
drink the most, Austin may have been the #1 contender. However, to
even out the playing field (and to provide more entertainment for
our viewers) we have included such categories as destruction and social
awkwardness. Can Austin step up his game and wreak havoc on his competition?
Will his girlfriend break up with him because of the stupidity he
is about to bring upon himself? Only time will tell... |
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5)
Steve - Already in the Man Hall of Fame for making his
ex-girlfriend sleep on a chair because he wanted a good night of
sleep, Steve is trying to add DOMC Ultimate Champion to
his resume. It's rumored that Steve once drank five Hurricane 40
ounces and didn't even break a sweat -- yeh, badass. Finally, a
quick tidbit of personal information: Steve always wears his watch
while having sex... he says it makes him feel like James Bond.
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6)
Ryan - Ever wonder what's going on in the mind of that drunk
kid who always has glossed over eyes and a look of confusion on his
face? Just ask Kaplan -- he's made that role his part-time profession.
Once dragged out of a low-budget strip club by the collar of his shirt
for attempted bathroom fornication, he is not afraid to let loose
with the drunken debauchery. |
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7)
Walsh - Don't let his quiet demeanor and soft eyes fool you,
Walsh is the Dark Horse of this competition. As the only junior in
the DOMC many have given him no chance to win -- due largely
to his supposed lack of experience and his ever-present youthful ignorance.
However, Walsh has been known to throw down on occasion... Let's just
hope he can hold his own against the alcoholic titans of this tourney. |
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8)
Asian Paul - Rounding out the bottom of the list is our beloved
Asian Paul. He might be tiny, and he might be Asian, but by golly
can this guy drink like a champ! Haha... Oh man, that's a funny one.
No, really though -- Paul's in the DOMC tournament so he
can prove to himself that he can hang with the big boys on campus
Haha... Okay, you got me... I'm kidding again. The truth is I just
thought it would be hilarious to see him utterly shit-faced. |
