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How
many of you can say that you've brought a 65 year old woman to a
late-night keg session where she raged out until 6 o' clock in the
morning... because I can.
Meet Susan, a drunken gray-haired townie that my friends and I met
at our local bar one crazy Thursday evening. With about 15 minutes
worth of peer pressure (apparently it still works on old people)
we were able to convince her to accompany the remaining bar crowd
to an "after-hour" house party.
At
first we were worried that we were pushing her too hard to drink
and that she was liable to have a seizure or heart attack, perhaps
up and die on us -- God, we couldn't have been more wrong. Susan
was pounding beers like it was nobody's business, dancing like she
was back in 1965, and at one point even toked a bowl of herbal proportions.
(It's okay, it was prescription for her glaucoma.)
During
all of this, there was a $300 collective pot for whoever landed
this sassy senior citizen into their bed for some skeet skeet
skeet action. Just imagine - no thong, only a gorgeous pair
of adult diapers. Now that's what I call sexy.
In
the end, Susan outlasted everyone at the party with her boundless
energy and youthful glee (I'm guessing she was taking key-bumps
of coke in the bathroom). Hopefully she managed to stumble back
to her home, although odds are she's lying somewhere in a gutter
or fell into the river.
Wherever
you may be Susan, we thank you for a marvelous Thursday night!
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